Feeling Overwhelmed?

I started to write this blog by researching statistics about overwhelm.

And I found studies which report on stress & feelings of overwhelm. But as I read I started to feel overwhelmed reading all the statistics! And I don’t need statistics to tell me how stressed & overwhelmed we as a society have become. 

So instead of statistics I’ll start with just a little clarity on what is stress & what is overwhelm. 

Stress is the response to specific situations, while overwhelm is the point when those stresses snowball, to a point we feel unable to cope. 

A stress to a specific situation is more manageable; we might be able to take a short break, & reprioritise to ease the stress or ask someone to support us.

But when we’re in overwhelm, we can’t access logical rational thought to find our way out. 

I love this quote by Brene Brown:

“In overwhelm, it’s hard to respond when people ask “How can I help?” or “What needs to be done?” Responding with organized thoughts feels impossible. This is also when I can get really crappy and think to myself, If I had the wherewithal to figure out what comes next and how we need to approach all of this, I wouldn’t be walking around in circles crying and talking to myself.”

I’m sure some of you can relate to that scenario!

Now overwhelm is a feeling; so it will feel different to each of us. We may feel it in different ways in our body. And it may manifest in different ways in our daily life. But it is ultimately a feeling that we can’t cope, we can’t deal with daily life.

When we’re in overwhelm our nervous system is most often stuck in either Sympathetic (Fight or Flight) or Parasympathetic Dorsal Vagal Complex (Freeze or Fawn). So it makes sense, that to help us shift out of overwhelm, when we’re at a point we can’t think clearly, that instead of trying to think our way out, we instead focus on activities that help bring us out of those states. 

Brene Brown talks about the idea of non-doing. She says: “When I am actually feeling overwhelmed, I say, “I’m overwhelmed, and I need 10–15 minutes of non-doing.” I normally walk the parking lot at work or go outside at home.”

We’ll all have different ways to get our Nervous System unstuck; it could be breathwork, getting out in nature, an aromatherapy hot bath, a cuddle (boosting oxytocin & reducing cortisol - hence the pooch photo above!), sleep, rest, or gentle exercise like a nurturing yoga class.

Once we’re out of the acuteness of the overwhelm feeling, then what?

Often when we’re in overwhelm we can end up doubting our own abilities, talents & gifts. So once we’ve found a little respite from the feeling of overwhelm & unstuck our nervous system, we can then start to take small actions one at a time, so we can see we are capable & can cope. 

From that space we’re then able to start to address the situations, emotions, & thoughts that are triggering the overwhelm.

This is a good point to share how this plays out in my own life; a little insight into how I feel overwhelm & what I do.

For me overwhelm is a tightness around my diaphragm, I feel a compression. It’s the same part of my body where I feel stress & anxiety. It’s literally like it’s restricting my ability to breathe. 

My head gets stuck in scenarios, planning, self soothing with plans to ease the overwhelm. But it’s hard to think logically, & what I come up with will be based on crazy thinking & fear. Keeping me stuck in the cycle of overthinking, and feeding the overwhelm. I think of this as my manic mode.

And breathe. 

When I feel overwhelm, my go to is to Ground, & then Breathe. I find movement helps, Yoga, or a walk in nature. Although sometimes if I’m walking it can be hard to not stay in my head in the cycle of thoughts, no matter how much I try and focus on what’s around me. Yoga requires me to focus more on my body & movement, so I’m less in my head. For me a micro dose of Yoga, then a walk, then a bit more Yoga can be the perfect solution to get me out of my stuck nervous system & the cycling thoughts.

Overwhelm creeps in, or sometimes hits like a freight train, when ‘I take on too much’. I’m very careful about the words I use here. It’s not ‘when others or life puts too much on my plate’. It’s about how I take on what life puts in front of me. That distinction is important to me. 

And often what is in front of me, is manageable, but I create shoulds around it, deadlines, expectations, ideals (often old beliefs & programming). I take on too much, and then feel overwhelmed. 

So once I’ve got myself out of the acuteness of overwhelm & unstuck my nervous system, I then like to do a bit of journaling, to see where I’m running on old beliefs & programming that tell me ‘I should’, that add expectations, or artificial deadlines. 

With that clarity I can then see what is in front of me with new eyes, eyes that see more fact, & see choices. Eyes that see space to make conscious decisions, & take action.

I reflect as I write this, that my approach above may sound like I need tons of time to do this. 

And yes in acute instances of overwhelm it might mean shelving what I had planned for 2-3 hours. But if I had ploughed ahead through the overwhelm, what I was going to do would have taken me three times as long & been well below what I’d want to give something. I can logically explain to myself why being in overwhelm isn’t a good idea for productivity, and showing up as I want to show up. I know it’s not good for health & wellness.

But I think it’s the years of pushing through overwhelm, & then seeing that I don’t have to be in overwhelm, has got me to the F**k It energy where I absolutely 100% DO NOT want to stay in that feeling of overwhelm. Forget all the rationale for why it’s good not to be overwhelmed, ultimately, I just don’t want to feel overwhelmed! So when it comes up, 99% of the time, within that same day I will have done something to address it.

And the more I practice stepping out of overwhelm & build daily practices that support me, I spot it more quickly & get less into overwhelm. I find it easier to step out. So a grounding, breathwork, & 15 mins with the pooch in the garden or a micro yoga practice, can be all I need.

Overwhelm is something I’m very familiar with, it’s been part of my journey, & that is why I want to help others practice stepping out of overwhelm & taking action (from a place of sanity!). Hence the theme for my next Online Visualisation Session is called Moving Through Overwhelm. 

It’s coming up on 8th October, running from 8.30 to 9.30pm London time. You can find details here: Moving Through Overwhelm.

I’m not saying you do this one Visualisation & you’re done with overwhelm! But it’s a tool you can use to start to step away from overwhelm, start to take manageable actions to rebuild confidence & find that feeling that we are capable, & can cope. 

You get to use the recording & journal prompts for 30 days after the live session, so you could dedicate those 30 days to practice stepping out of overwhelm & taking actions. So if you’re ready to start to let go of that feeling of overwhelm, then I hope to see you there.

Further resources:

You might also like to read my previous blog:

Sharing My Thoughts On Regulating Our Nervous Systems & Why A Regulated Nervous System Is So Powerful.

If you’d like to read more about Stress, Overwhelm & Burnout, this article is an interesting read: “Modern life is so demanding that it can lead us to feel chronically drained. How can we address the problem before everyday stress turns into burnout?”

And Brene Brown’s article: Stressed & Overwhelmed